I wasn't using social media, social media was using me | Social Media & Algorithms

Do you know, none of your decisions are entirely yours?

The recent ’80s trend of ChatGPT pictures made me want to write this post.

I am sick and tired of seeing people train AI in the name of a “trend”.

There, I said it.

But have you ever thought about why we follow any trend? Who makes us do it?

I realised something a few months ago.

It was a random Sunday. I was lying in bed, scrolling through reels on Instagram, saving a few recipes and workouts here and there and wondering what kind of post I should create next in order to go viral.

And then I realised that a lot of my decisions were coming from my phone.

The algorithm was telling me which holiday destination I should plan my next vacation to, which restaurant I should eat at, which workout I should try, what I should buy and, increasingly, what I should think.

I sat with that thought for a few minutes, trying to retrace the decisions I had made recently.

Which of them were actually mine?

Which ones had I made out of my own free will?

The more I traced them back, the more uncomfortable it became.

I hadn't decided that I wanted to go on a bike ride to Leh-Ladakh next year. I'd seen forty reels of an open road with blue skies, shot from the same angle, set to the same slowed-down song, until it somehow felt like the only purpose of my life.

I hadn't decided that a particular restaurant looked good. I'd seen the same cheese pull, the same slow-motion pour, the same person saying, “You have to try this,” until my own hunger started telling me that I was missing out.

And then there was the political party thing.

That one hit differently.

I genuinely paused there because I always thought my opinions were mine. But somewhere along the way, a good chunk of them had started arriving pre-packaged.

Nine seconds long.

A punchy caption.

Great music.

And a creator who was very certain about something they probably hadn't spent more than nine seconds thinking about.

The algorithm doesn't ask for your opinion.

It doesn't argue with you.

It doesn't sit you down for a debate.

It just repeats.

And repetition, if you're not paying attention, starts to feel a lot like conviction.

The Illusion of Choosing

How do you defend a choice you don't even know you are making?

That, to me, is the real illusion of choice that social media is creating.

It is perhaps the most passive thing in the world. You are tired, exhausted, lonely or just plain bored, and you are moving your thumb across your screen with your brain half switched off, completely unaware of how much influence you are giving away.

Think about how often this happens.

You put your phone away, thinking, I won't look at it.

A few minutes later, you reach for it.

You pick it up.

Unlock it.

Check for notifications.

Nothing.

You feel slightly disappointed.

Lock it again.

And a few minutes later, you do exactly the same thing.

We actually used to do something similar as kids.

Whenever we were hungry or bored, we'd run to the fridge, open it, find nothing worth eating and close it.

A few minutes later, we'd open it again.

Nothing had magically appeared inside.

And yet, we checked.

Do you see the pattern?

But the real question is: what are you hungry for?

Because it was never really about the food.

And it isn't really about the phone either.

The phone has simply figured out how to become a fridge that occasionally, unpredictably, does have something new inside.

A message.

A like.

A comment.

A notification.

Or, if you are particularly popular, all of the above.

And that unpredictability is exactly what keeps you opening the phone again and again.

The algorithm doesn't need to control you.

It just needs to keep you curious about what might be waiting for you.

And the scary part is, it gets very good at figuring out what you will look for next.

So whose Sunday was it really?

The most annoying part?

Once I started looking for it, I started noticing it everywhere.

I decided to put my phone down and then asked myself, What else can I do?

Perhaps I could spend some time with the kids. So I went to them.

They didn't want me disturbing them on a Sunday during their screen time.

Fair enough.

I could sit with my parents and talk about random things. They were busy watching reels on Facebook.

I could go for a bike ride. But it was already pretty hot outside, so I dropped the idea.

Annoyingly, I picked up my phone again and started searching for alternatives to being on my phone.

Yes, I realise the irony.

Jokes apart, I deleted all social media from my phone that day.

I completely took myself away from Instagram.

It's been five months since I have been part of the algorithm.

Now that I write it out loud, I feel like a member of Alcoholics Anonymous introducing herself:

“Hello, I'm Tejaswita. I've been sober since March 2026.”

I am not going to pretend that I have fixed it.

The algorithm is patient and, on a bad day, extremely persistent.

And tired people make excellent scrollers.

But I scroll LinkedIn now.

At least there is a chance I might land myself a better job.

I also try not to take my phone to the bathroom anymore.That, for me, is a very real measure of progress.

I am still tempted to pick it up when I am bored, uncomfortable, waiting, or simply trying to avoid my own thoughts.

The difference is that I notice it now.

And sometimes, I put it back down.

I don't think the goal is to become someone who never uses a phone.

That's unrealistic.

The goal is to stop reaching for it every time there is a tiny gap in the day.

To be bored without immediately trying to fix the boredom.

To sit quietly without feeling that I need to fill the silence.

To make a decision without first checking what everyone else is doing.

So, five months in, I wouldn't say I am cured. But I am definitely no longer on Instagram's payroll. And I think that's a pretty good start. I may miss out on some great holiday destinations and restaurant recommendations. I may not know which new workout everyone is doing. I may even miss the next ridiculous internet trend.

But that's something I can live with. Because I would rather miss out on a few recommendations than slowly outsource my choices, my attention and eventually my life to an algorithm.

And maybe this post is my little test.

Earlier, after writing something, my first instinct was to put it on Instagram too, because more people should read it, right?

Not this time.

I am going to write it, post it, and let it find its way.

Maybe that's what taking back a little bit of choice looks like.

Hello, I'm Tejaswita. I'm sober since March 2026.

And yes, I still scroll LinkedIn.